Clinical Discharge Report
Issued following intensive inpatient system therapy
Patient:
Procurement Organization (Name withheld due to GDPR-related nervous breakdown)
Primary Diagnosis: Severe Post-Traumatic Ariba Implementation Disorder (PTAID), therapy-resistant, with acute Excel dependency, compulsive workaround behavior, and pathological workflow overengineering
Case History: Long-standing condition following a traumatic “Go-Live Event.” Symptoms persisted despite repeated training interventions and ritualistic e-learning modules. Patient developed numerous shadow processes, some predating the current system and others apparently generated spontaneously. Marked psychological distress accompanied by learned helplessness and a deeply internalized belief that “this is just how it is.”
Therapeutic Measures:
• Surgical removal of excessive approval layers (some found to be vestigial)
• Aggressive elimination of redundant mandatory fields with no known function
• Rebuilding of processes based on reality rather than PowerPoint
• Controlled, supervised detox from Excel emergency solutions
Clinical Course: Rapid and unexpected improvement.
Click volume dropped to near-physiological levels. Observable decrease in passive-aggressive comments during workshops. Several users reported unfamiliar sensations described as “overview,” “logic,” and “this actually makes sense.”
Status at Discharge: Stable and cautiously optimistic.
The patient has regained operational capability and now interacts with the system without visible fear or rage. While future upgrades may trigger flashbacks, prognosis is favorable with early intervention.
Aftercare Recommendation:
Mandatory regular check-ups.
Strict prohibition of unsupervised implementations.
Immediate medical consultation at the first appearance of new mandatory fields.